When the River Meets the Sea...
A small portion of my job takes a big portion of my heart and energy. I provide music for various memorial services throughout the year, including bi-annual services honoring all patients of the hospital that have passed away and an annual service for infants that have passed away at the hospital.
It's something I knew I would need to do before I started, and I remember thinking "Oh, yeah...piece of cake." Well...I will tell you it is NOT a piece of cake. Choosing the appropriate music repertoire for a service celebrating a life (or several) takes great consideration.
Who was this person/these people? How did they leave this earth? Who may be in attendance at the service?
And then the musical consideration takes expertise and often self-doubt, which leads to reassurance from others.
Are these lyrics meaningful and appropriate? Does this song capture a person's being? How can I best deliver these songs and these messages?
And then the really hard part: Singing and performing these songs live at the service. Talk about pressure! I think of it as putting on a hat..."Right now I am going to sing these songs as Lauren, the performer and spiritual comforter, and that is who I am in this moment." And after the service, I take my hat off...and then I am Lauren, the friend, or Lauren, the therapist, or Lauren, the relative. It all depends on the situation.
I have done this time and time again in past years, prior to my music therapy career. I recall providing music for a family member, and doing my "duties" with the music, before sitting behind the piano and crying as everyone exited the church. You see, they were able to mourn and feel during the service...but I had to do my job and hold it together. Hat on...hat off.
In later years I have realized the importance of being a music maker and music therapist when it comes time to initiate a memorial service. Last spring I even sang for my own grandfather's funeral. I put on my "hat" throughout the entire Catholic funeral, singing an Irish blessing followed by a rendition of "How Great Thou Art." And I did not cry...I held it together. As soon as we arrived at the burial site, a group of men in uniform provided military funeral honors for my Navy veteran grandfather with the playing of "Taps" and presented my grandmother with a folded flag. And then it all came crashing down on me...I melted and wept, allowing myself to take my "hat" off because I had done my job, and now I was Lauren, the mourner.
Recently we had an employee take his own life, and I had the honor of providing music for this service. I asked a fellow music therapist who worked in his department to join me...and we sang soaring and powerful renditions of "Over the Rainbow" and "In My Life" by The Beatles. I didn't quite succeed at getting my "hat" all the way on and tightened, and found myself shedding tears when loved ones and staff shared stories about this amazing person. I told myself it was alright to let the tears fall, and reminded myself to tighten my "hat" for the benediction song. I was very nervous to provide music for an employee memorial service, especially given the sensitive circumstances surrounding his sudden passing. I was grateful for my friend and fellow music therapist to assist with the song selections, arranging, and mindfully deciding where each song would fall within the order of service-- these are tiny decisions that hold great weight.
And within the past week I have already selected the songs to provide for the Angel Tree service for sweet infants that have passed on, which is another highly sensitive and intense memorial service. This will be a difficult service for me to remember to place that hat on top of my head, because in those moments I will be Lauren, the music therapist. One of the songs I have chosen for the service is "When the River Meets the Sea," as performed by John Denver and the Muppets on one of the Muppets' Christmas specials. I think the lyrics are very child-like, and the final verse is especially appropriate for the circumstances. Originally, I was going to opt out of singing the verse for fear of the sensitivity. However, I tweaked a couple of pronouns to make it specialized and meaningful, and am going to trust my instincts that led me to this song.
It's something I knew I would need to do before I started, and I remember thinking "Oh, yeah...piece of cake." Well...I will tell you it is NOT a piece of cake. Choosing the appropriate music repertoire for a service celebrating a life (or several) takes great consideration.
Who was this person/these people? How did they leave this earth? Who may be in attendance at the service?
And then the musical consideration takes expertise and often self-doubt, which leads to reassurance from others.
Are these lyrics meaningful and appropriate? Does this song capture a person's being? How can I best deliver these songs and these messages?
And then the really hard part: Singing and performing these songs live at the service. Talk about pressure! I think of it as putting on a hat..."Right now I am going to sing these songs as Lauren, the performer and spiritual comforter, and that is who I am in this moment." And after the service, I take my hat off...and then I am Lauren, the friend, or Lauren, the therapist, or Lauren, the relative. It all depends on the situation.
I have done this time and time again in past years, prior to my music therapy career. I recall providing music for a family member, and doing my "duties" with the music, before sitting behind the piano and crying as everyone exited the church. You see, they were able to mourn and feel during the service...but I had to do my job and hold it together. Hat on...hat off.
In later years I have realized the importance of being a music maker and music therapist when it comes time to initiate a memorial service. Last spring I even sang for my own grandfather's funeral. I put on my "hat" throughout the entire Catholic funeral, singing an Irish blessing followed by a rendition of "How Great Thou Art." And I did not cry...I held it together. As soon as we arrived at the burial site, a group of men in uniform provided military funeral honors for my Navy veteran grandfather with the playing of "Taps" and presented my grandmother with a folded flag. And then it all came crashing down on me...I melted and wept, allowing myself to take my "hat" off because I had done my job, and now I was Lauren, the mourner.
Recently we had an employee take his own life, and I had the honor of providing music for this service. I asked a fellow music therapist who worked in his department to join me...and we sang soaring and powerful renditions of "Over the Rainbow" and "In My Life" by The Beatles. I didn't quite succeed at getting my "hat" all the way on and tightened, and found myself shedding tears when loved ones and staff shared stories about this amazing person. I told myself it was alright to let the tears fall, and reminded myself to tighten my "hat" for the benediction song. I was very nervous to provide music for an employee memorial service, especially given the sensitive circumstances surrounding his sudden passing. I was grateful for my friend and fellow music therapist to assist with the song selections, arranging, and mindfully deciding where each song would fall within the order of service-- these are tiny decisions that hold great weight.
And within the past week I have already selected the songs to provide for the Angel Tree service for sweet infants that have passed on, which is another highly sensitive and intense memorial service. This will be a difficult service for me to remember to place that hat on top of my head, because in those moments I will be Lauren, the music therapist. One of the songs I have chosen for the service is "When the River Meets the Sea," as performed by John Denver and the Muppets on one of the Muppets' Christmas specials. I think the lyrics are very child-like, and the final verse is especially appropriate for the circumstances. Originally, I was going to opt out of singing the verse for fear of the sensitivity. However, I tweaked a couple of pronouns to make it specialized and meaningful, and am going to trust my instincts that led me to this song.
When the mountain touches the valley
All the clouds are taught to fly
As our souls will leave this land most peacefully
Though our minds be filled with questions
In our hearts we'll understand
When the river meets the sea
All the clouds are taught to fly
As our souls will leave this land most peacefully
Though our minds be filled with questions
In our hearts we'll understand
When the river meets the sea
Like a flower that has blossomed
In the dry & barren sand
We are born & born again most gracefully
Thus the winds of time will take us
With a sure and steady hand
When the river meets the sea
In the dry & barren sand
We are born & born again most gracefully
Thus the winds of time will take us
With a sure and steady hand
When the river meets the sea
Patience, my brother and patience, my son
In that sweet and final hour
Truth and justice will be done
In that sweet and final hour
Truth and justice will be done
Like a baby when it is sleeping
In its loving mother's arms
What a newborn baby dreams is a mystery
But in his life He will find purpose
And in time we'll understand
When the river meets the sea
When the river meets the almighty sea!!
In its loving mother's arms
What a newborn baby dreams is a mystery
But in his life He will find purpose
And in time we'll understand
When the river meets the sea
When the river meets the almighty sea!!
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